Worse Than Death

WESTLEY
Then you're not married -- if you didn't say it, you didn't do it --
(a pause)
-- wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?

HUMPERDINCK
A technicality that will shortly be remedied. But first things first. To the death.

WESTLEY
No.
(a little pause)
To the pain.

HUMPERDINCK(about to charge, stops short)
I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

WESTLEY
I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.

HUMPERDINCK
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

WESTLEY
It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

HUMPERDINCK
-- and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

WESTLEY
I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right --

HUMPERDINCK(takes step forward)
-- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it --

CLOSE UP: WESTLEY HUGE
WESTLEY
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why --

HUMPERDINCK.
And now he stops, and the look that was in his eyes at the wedding, that look of fear, is starting to return.

WESTLEY
-- so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

HUMPERDINCK
I think you're bluffing --

WESTLEY,
lying there, staring at him.

WESTLEY
It's possible, pig -- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

And now, slowly, Westley begins to move. His body turns, his feet go to the floor, he starts to stand --

HUMPERDINCK,
staring, eyes wide.

WESTLEY.
And now he is standing, sword in fighting position.

WESTLEY
-- DROP YOUR SWORD!

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK,
and he's so panicked he doesn't know whether to pee or wind his watch. He throws his sword to the floor.

That, of course, was from The Princess Bride.